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Bringing back the human side to life.
Kindness in Being Present
Many people come and go in our lives. We share moments in time and cherish the laughter and look forward to getting together again. Sometimes the next time doesn’t come.
The Year 2021 brought out self-reflection, acceptance, and letting go.
I reminisce about old friends and wonder what they are doing now. When we were young, we never realized that we should have kept in touch with each other more often to keep each other close. But time pushed us to our different paths and careers and circumstances. Making new friends become more difficult as we get older, and it is not easy to make time to meet others when we’re trying to rebuild our lives in newfound places. Real friendship takes real presence.
More recently, I have had to say goodbye to some family members in their physical form. The memory of their smiles and personalities are very embedded and cherished in my heart. Their gestures and spirit are missed but still exist and honored in me. Returning to my inner fortress of solitude, I am again praying and meditating and giving thanks for the gift of having had all these beings in my life.
There are so many people in any given city. I’ve walked around the streets of Seattle, Chicago, Houston, and New York City. Most are in a hurry to get somewhere. I saw stilettos stepping off and on concrete, brand name sneakers hopping on buses and trains, and the worn-out footings of the homeless man who was strutting across the street without caring about the cars that had to stop before they run him over. Their faces were as intense as their hurriedness, their worriedness, their unhappiness. I have been grieving for my personal loss while walking in some of these cities, I felt like I was walking in slow motion just watching the crowd of people swirling around me. My tears have been pouring down for the last few weeks and my heartbreak was unbearable. But my sorrow seemed to have been overshadowed by the sadness that I saw watching people who are rushing their lives without joy in their countenance. My sorrow’s backdrop was of love and joyful presence of special people in my life. Perhaps, I should assume that the swirling crowd of people may be grieving their own types of hurt. I must be thankful that I had joy.
Time passes and things are never the same from one second to the next. I suppose I will choose to try starting relationships again with the risk of losing them again. And I may increase my practice of being truly present as an offering of kindness and friendship. Sometimes, it feels like I have done something wrong since I must follow my own truth, which does not look as exciting or as popular as other people’s lifestyles or expectations of me. I am mindful of my time as I wake up each day having to make a choice of crying from sadness or allowing my sadness to hang around while I smile at the moon and my fellow human beings and enjoy sharing my presence while I am still here in my physical form.
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